When Fear Gets In the Way
It can feel so scary to do artistic things.
Any time we try something new - taking singing lessons, going out for an audition, exploring a new genre of music, learning a new vocal technique, starting a creative business, performing, returning to a form of artistic expression we loved as a child - the voice of fear can get really loud.
I know from experience. It may come as a surprise to know that my default setting is to hide. My comfort zone is being out of the limelight and it can be really scary for me to feel seen; especially to be seen whilst I express my full self. And I know I’m not alone - this is a universal struggle. And while I am aware of this tendency, I am simultaenously aware that the moments I have let my vulnerable, artistic self be known - when I have shared what I have to offer- those have been and continue to be some of the most meaningful experiences in my life.
But God dang’t that fear can be loud and painful to navigate! Julia Cameron expresses this beautifully in this quote from her brilliant book, ‘The Artist’s Way:’
‘Fear is what blocks the artist.The fear of not being good enough. The fear of not finishing. The fear of failure and of success. The fear of beginning at all. There is only one cure for fear. That cure is love. Use love for your artist to cure your fear.’
I’m curious how this quote lands for you? I have to be honest - the skeptic in me hears the phrase “Use love for your artist to cure your fear” and feels a minor aversion to what I initially perceive as an overly wholesome, simplistic phrase. But the wiser me senses the truth in the statement and wants to slow down, get curious and ask “Okay…well what does offering love to the artistic self actually mean?”
Because we all know deep down (and there’s plenty of research to back it), that shaming and bullying ourselves when we are feeling vulnerable or afraid simply doesn’t work. Our voices, both our singing voices and our broader creative voices, simply can’t release fully when we are anticipating judgement, cruelty or dismissiveness — even if those harsh inner voices are only coming from within.
Okay, so if we buy this statement that when we experience fear, our artist hearts need love, what does that look like on a practical level?
Well, let me share what love for my artist self means at this point in my life. I still have plenty to learn but maybe there’s an idea here that you haven’t explored yet that might prove useful:
Sit with the fear and give it space to be known and experienced. UGH! This one. It ain’t easy. And before I explain what I mean, there are circumstances where this is horrible advice. For instance if you are feeling really under-resourced emotionally and/or are navigating a mental health challenge, sitting and feeling your fear fully simply may be too much and a conversation with a close friend, a therapist or a good old fashioned distraction might actually be the answer. But if you feel ready to sit with your fear, meditation is one powerful way to do this. In meditation there are practices that support us in turning towards the feeling of fear with open, non-judgemental curiosity. Perhaps we feel it as a tightness in the belly, heat in the throat or contraction in the shoulders. By observing and allowing these felt sensations to be experienced, without adding a narrative about them or trying to stop them, we allow the emotion of fear to be moved and experienced. The good news is no emotion lasts forever, especially if we can allow ourselves to really feel the feeling. So often, we feel fear and right away it grabs the reigns, a terrified little rider on a sweaty and frantic horse (bad combo). When fear is in the saddle, it starts directing our actions and spinning stories about the why of our fear. This usually leaves us running in chaotic, frantic circles or else feeling so frozen and terrified, we can’t take a step forward. When we give ourselves an opportunity to truly be with the experience of fear, without adding a story or trying to push it away, we can move through it and access clarity around the next step we want to take.
Giving yourself a safe place to land when you try and fail. What does this mean? Literally planning how you are going to take care of yourself, speak to yourself and continue to move forward when things don’t go how you planned. This can look like taking yourself on your favourite hike or to a cozy coffee shop after a perceived epic failure to offer yourself some care and compassion for what you’re feeling. It can look like talking to a good friend or mentor with experience trying and failing who might be able to give me some perspective. It can look like reading a memoir or listening to a podcast where an artist you respect talks through their artistic trials and tribulations and how they moved forward. It can look like giving yourself space to look at the grey area of your perceived failure. Things are never just ‘good or bad’ so ask yourself: ‘Where did I grow, what did I do well and where are my opportunities to shift and change approach for next time?’ It can look like compassionate inner dialogue with the part of you that’s quaking in her boots, reassuring that anxiety ridden sweety that you’ll be there for her whatever the outcome. Reassure your inner artist that you won’t abandon her when things don’t go as planned.
Listen to the quietest, most unsure longings of your artists heart and lean in with deep care and curiosity so that they might be heard and explored. Many of us know what we want to do creatively but we might feel like we don’t have the right to have that longing, or that it will take too long to develop the skill. We might feel scared to admit what we want to try or feel unsure how to take the next step.Taking your artistic longings seriously, even the most seemingly audacious ones, can feel frightening, but if you don’t give those longings space - who will? Consider how you might take a micro step towards the thing your longing to do.
Let yourself learn and normalize the learning process being slow as molasses, messy and vulnerable. So many of us take that brave step to do the thing we are scared to do but then, surprise, it’s harder than we thought! Or we don’t get it right the first time and feel immense shame about that. Or we take longer to learn the skill than we anticipated. THIS IS NORMAL. Learning is messy. You can really struggle with learning something and still get really good at it! It’s a myth that you’re only talented at something if you learn it lightning quick or look like the picture of perfection doing it (thank social media for entrenching this idea even further). True learning and growth is wildly raw and human. It’s in the vocal crack, the wrong pitch, the screechy note, the trying and stumbling…every shaky step means you are actually doing the thing! See if you can fall in love with this wonderful, messy and wild thing called process.
Normalize making mistakes + not having all the answers (oof- tough for me). Not knowing or making a mistake is not a sign you don’t belong doing the thing you long to do. It’s just an opportunity to discover something that was unknown to you or to find a better path forward. Making mistakes are opportunities to learn, not signs of inadequacy.
Get curious about how your artistic longings might be shifting and changing as you inevitably age and evolve. It can be scary to realize that what used to satisfy us creatively simply doesn’t anymore. We may have changed and realize that we need to do something radically different and totally unknown in order to really express ourselves artistically. Love for your inner artists means giving yourself the gift of the chance to evolve. Everything in nature teaches us that change is inevitable and necessary. Why would it not be the same for you? Yes it’s scary but it’s also exciting!
Don’t be afraid to share with others. This is huge! It can be scary to share what we are doing with others. We can fear how we will be perceived or what people will say to us. And to be fair, sometimes people have a hard time understanding the drive to explore artistry when they haven’t done it themselves. Our capitalist society can prompt people to wonder how you plan to make money off of your creative hobby rather than wonder about the way it allows you to express yourself. So, sometimes people don’t respond skillfully or kindly when we share that we have started singing lessons or begun writing a book or whatever it might be. Don’t let that daunt you. You will also find people who will celebrate you, want to share in what you are doing and who will be inspired to pursue their own artistic dreams because of you. Finding your community of fellow artists is such a balm to the inevitable fear that shows up for us when we are creatively courageous but we can’t find our people if we hide. Normalize sharing vulnerably even if you feel it’s not quite good enough (because let’s be honest, most of us always feel that way no matter how well prepared or skilled we are). Let yourself be witnessed in all your brilliance and messiness because, as Brené Brown so succinctly puts it: “Vulnerability is the core, the heart, the centre of meaningful human experience.”
So friends, these are just a few thoughts to offer your way. But let me just add that fear is not a failing. It is not something that has to be fixed or pushed away. It’s a natural emotion to experience when you are trying something new or stretching yourself. And god knows sometimes it shows up for what seems like no good reason.
The power comes through understanding how we can work with fear so that it doesn’t become the primary decision maker in our creative lives. And if you’re like me, you’ll sometimes remember to offer love to your inner artist when you are afraid, and sometimes you will forget.
One of my favourite meditation teachers, Sharon Salzberg says, “The healing is in the return, not in never having wandered in the first place." In life, we learn these profound truths and gain insights - such as how to offer ourselves love when we are afraid- and then we inevitably forget. This is okay - perhaps it’s even an essential part of the growth.
Delight in the remembering and keep taking those steps forward in your artistic life - tiny step by tiny step and leap by leap.
